im sad right now like really sad im crying right now sooo this is gonna be a very emotional post

5th May 2009

the worst day of my life so far.

it hurts.
like fucking hell.

no. its not something you people can ever feeel.
no not unless yr in the same boat as me.
but i bet you arent in the same boat.

i dont know what to react.
i dont know what to think.
i dont know what to feel.
i dont know what i should do.
i dont know who to talk to.

the moment i saw those names.
the moment i saw THE WORD.
the moment i heard them talk.
the moment i saw her cry.
the moment.
yes the moment.
the moment i will never forget.
it keeeps flashing in my mind.
i cant think right.
haywire ~

its likeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
a dream. no.
nightmare.

i really hope it was just a dream.
i wish i didnt take a look at that book.
i wish i was stupid.
and not kpo.
i wish that book hadnt been there.
i wish this all stuff is not happening to me.
i wish i was blind so that i didnt get to see those
words.


i feeeeel so alone right now.
i dont know why.

i feeeel like a baby right now.
crying.


and f.y.i
its not another boyfriend girlfriend break up thing okay.
fuck that shit.

its not as hurtful as this.
cos its about me right now.
me mememememememem !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its like i cant accept it you know.
but i know i must.
like totally a different person.


i gotta be strong.
i NEED to be strong.



fuck.